Here in the UK it is officially “May-day” bank holiday weekend. I have had to cancel my camping trip so I can deal with everything that I have neglected at home. I haven’t been keeping up with any housework and there is a mountain of odd jobs that I have been putting off since January.
I still haven’t build the Ikea furniture to replace what my ex smashed up over Xmas and New Year.
The biggest motivator for me now is that someone will be visiting my house to make sure I am worthy of adopting a rescue cat (i.e. I am not a complete savage and there are no other pets in the household).
The lady from the cat rescue charity will visit 1pm on Monday and I don’t want her to see my house in this state. I look around and this not who I am but I haven’t had the strength or will to keep on top of things.
So anyways, I am going to do it this weekend and have put together a massive to do list to finish for before she arrives.
Here’s my to do list:
- Build ikea wardrobe and drawers (to replace what my ex smashed up)
- Clear the front driveway of weeds and rubbish
- Clear the back garden of weeds and rubbish
- Remove mould and mildew from the bathroom ceiling and tiles
- Deep clean and vacumm the rest of the house
- Take all waste (including broken furniture) to the recycling center / local skip
Someone has offered to help me with building the Ikea stuff. This is the guy I went on a couple of dates with. I told him why I have cancelled my camping trip this weekend and since then he has become determined to, in his own words, be “alpha male” and just come over and help me.
I’ve turned down his offer. I have been truthful about it and my reasoning is, my ex is the reason why my life has ended up in such a mess and I should really fix it myself.
It doesn’t feel right for me to let another man, a man who I hardly know – swoop-in and clean up the mess left by the shit-head that abused me.
I am so overwhelmed by how much I need to get done this weekend but I need to take my power back.
I need to do this alone.