Self-medicating so I can sleep

It is no wonder that I am exhausted. Due to my PTSD I am averaging at about 4 hours sleep a night, and that’s if I sleep at all.

My sleep issues are a mixed bag. Of course I am struggling to fall asleep at night but also the quality of my sleep is really poor at the moment.

I have tried a few things like adjusting the room temperature, avoiding gaming. Even after a 10 mile hike in the country, I am waking up a few times through the night.

Last night I decided I was going to force my body to sleep for a minimum of eight hours solid, which I achieved by self-medicating on a cocktail of:

  • Propanolol (for high blood pressure)
  • Promethazine Hydroxide (anti-histamine)
  • Syncol (a pre-menstrual relief pill that I picked up in Mexico)

It totally worked. I woke up feeling so rested and although I was a bit drousy from the pills, I felt a million times better. I felt lighter and like there was more ease in my body. My brain was switched on, I didn’t dither about and was able get ready for work and out the door in 30 mins.

I really needed that.

There is a part of me that feels a bit wary about this concoction I’ve made up but the pros definitely outweigh the cons (or risks) because of how great it feels to finally get a proper nights sleep. Also, I waited 2 months for my life to settle and my sleep to recover naturally but it wasn’t happening so I had to do something about it.

I looked online to buy more of this Promethazine Hydroxide. My plan is now to literally drug myself to sleep for 1-2 nights in the week.

This recovery and self-care malarky is quite complex, even more so when you have a weird ADHD/Autistic brain that doesn’t want to shut up at the best of times.

I miss having someone to hold when I drift asleep.

I could really do with a hug and some reassurance right now.

I feel like I’m on this journey on my own.

Yes I have various professionals and service providers looking after me (and I am extremely lucky to have these services available to me), but it’s not the same as a hugs and kisses and support from someone who really loves you, is it?

7 thoughts on “Self-medicating so I can sleep

  1. Thanks for being so candid. It’s really tough when we’re driven to ‘extreme’ self medicating (in the great scheme of things it’s not that bad, your not on street drugs!) I’ve felt like medical professionals basically say improving “sleep hygiene” is the only option but when you’re doing everything right I don’t think the professionals realise how debilitating lack of sleep/poor sleep is. I get sleep but I don’t get any deep sleep unless I’ve (literally) run half marathon so I’m never refreshed. I’ve had to learn to live through a fog and accept this is my life. I hope your new regime is helpful x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I didn’t know either. I started taking Promethazine Hydrochloride when my doctor prescribed them for me to help me sleep (also available to buy over the counter or online).

    Like

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